


After Umbara

by Induurisa



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Betrayal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 10:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15435129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Induurisa/pseuds/Induurisa
Summary: Jaq is reeling from Theron's betrayal on Umbara.





	After Umbara

**Author's Note:**

> I was compelled to write this as a venting fic after I played through the Umbara arc for the first time with my smuggler character, Jaq. Poor boy.

Jaq collapsed into a seat at the Alliance War Room table, resting his head in the palm of one hand as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. He hadn’t even showered after the incident. He could hardly remember anything that occurred after Theron, the one he loved, had betrayed him. He just didn’t get it. What did he do wrong? Tears stung at Jaq’s eyes as his grip tightened on his temples, the feeling of nausea in his gut unrelenting.

“Commander?” Lana entered the War Room slowly, cautiously. She didn’t need the Force to sense that Jaq was in extreme distress. Taking a shuddering breath, Jaq moved his hand from his forehead to the bridge of his nose, trying to wipe away the tears that had gathered there without being too obvious as he got to his feet to face his second-in-command—and friend.

“Yeah,” Jaq said, clearing his throat. His heart was still racing out of his chest with anxiety, the nausea and headache that tore at his mind and body forcing him to _feel. Feel that Theron had betrayed him; almost killed him._

“Are you… alright?” Lana came within a few feet of Jaq, who awkwardly cleared his throat again. He was barely holding it together. It was a good thing the Alliance meeting wasn’t for another few hours. He couldn’t let his allies see how much this had hurt him. It wasn’t like he and Theron were any big secret—they weren’t hiding their relationship—but the Commander of the Alliance breaking this badly over this? Jaq knew that he couldn’t show them how weak he was. If his allies saw, his enemies would as well, and that would only cause more trouble for the galaxy at large.

“I’m fine. Just… It’s been a long—” Jaq winced, pinching the bridge of his nose again, half due pain from the headache, and half to hide fresh tears. “It’s been a long day,” he finished, turning away from Lana towards the table. Lana frowned, stepping forward to place a hand on Jaq’s shoulder.

“Commander… Jaq. It’s okay to be upset. You two were as close as anyone could be. And even I should have been able to pick up what was happening. I’ve known Theron longer than you have,” she said, releasing Jaq’s shoulder as it started to shake from his crying. Lana glanced at the doorways, checking for other Alliance members, and, when seeing none, took Jaq’s arm. “Come on. Let’s get you someplace more private.”

She gently took Jaq to the command barracks, then to his quarters, shutting the door behind them. Jaq immediately broke down as he fell onto the bed, spasms wracking his body as he sobbed silently, save for his gasping breaths and wet sniffles. Lana sat on the edge of the bed beside him, laying a hand on his back.

“What… What was he thinking?” Jaq mumbled through his pillow, suddenly jerking upright. Lana leaned back, giving him space. “What did he find out that was worth this? Millions of deaths? Killing me? You? For what? Why didn’t he tell me? What did I do wrong?” Jaq punched his flat pillow in a rage. His emotions were out of control. He hadn’t been this bad in years. Not since he had been released from Valkorion’s carbonite prison only to realize that it had been five years, the Eternal Empire has taken over the galaxy, and his crew had vanished. “Damn you, Theron! You son of a kath hound, I kriffing loved you… I still love you. You said… You said you still loved me. How could you do this?”

Lana watched passively as Jaq vented, observing the former smuggler alternate between wracking sobs and fits of fury. She had never been one to be good with emotional people, but Jaq was her friend. Theron had been her friend, too. But she was better at dealing with betrayals and the emotions involved, being from the Sith, where betrayals were practically commonplace. Still, it stung. Deeper than she’d have liked.

“How could you not sense it? Can’t you Force-users sense things like that?” Jaq asked, gasping in between sentences for breath. His face was tight with dried and wet tears and mucus. He could barely tell which substances were from his eyes and which were from his nose.

“No. Theron had Jedi training, remember? Even those who can’t use the Force can fortify their mental defenses. He was an expert at that. It came in handy, being an SIS agent, I’ll bet,” Lana said. Jaq scooted weakly to the edge of the bed, staring down at his hands, which were wringing anxiously between his knees. He shook his head, still in disbelief. “Jaq… I can postpone the meeting, if you aren’t up to it. There might be more rumors, but—”

“Don’t. I can’t give up now. I need to… I need to keep pushing. But…”

“But?”

“What if Theron is right? What if I’m just causing more strife? More war? Maybe I should stop pushing. Let go. I’ve done it before. Hell, I’m a kriffing smuggler-turned-peacekeeper. This never felt like me. I… Maybe I should just go. Maybe he’ll come back to me if I leave all of this behind. Abandon the Alliance,” Jaq mumbled, more to himself than to Lana. She placed a hand over his, causing him to stop his fidgeting and look up at her, his eyes red and raw.

“He made his choice. And Jaq? You are doing good here. You could have taken the Eternal Throne and become another Valkorion. You decided to give the fleet to the galaxy, and only use it for peacekeeping. You’ve impressed me. I never would have guessed that you could do this much good. And if Theron can’t see that?” Lana looked into Jaq’s eyes, insistent. “Jaq, you are _not_ in the wrong here. I promise you.” Jaq chuckled drily.

“That’s coming from a Sith Lord,” he said, his voice hollow. “You know, I didn’t trust you at all until after…”

“After the carbonite?” Jaq nodded solemnly, a muscle in his face twitching as he recalled the memories. He wished he’d never gotten so involved with the Republic. With Revan, and all of this galaxy-changing stuff. He just wanted to be a smuggler. With his crew. His crew… “I know this is hard, but you have to keep going. You have to be the leader the Alliance needs. What the people of the galaxy need. You can get through this, Commander. I know you can.”

Jaq nodded automatically, tears threatening to burst forth once again. His last kiss with Theron burned in his mind, bittersweet.

“I will. I’ll… I’ll keep going. I owe it to what Theron once believed in. If he ever really did. I just want him to come home.” Jaq rose to his feet, grabbing a box of tissues from the desk across from the bed and grabbing a handful, haphazardly wiping his face with them. His stomach still churned, and whenever his thoughts strayed to Theron, he felt like throwing up. His friend, his lover… Now his betrayer.

 

_There must always be a Darth Traya._

_The galaxy needs its betrayers, especially in the times to come._

 

_Loved you from the moment I first saw you._

_Thought you were a dream._

 

“I need to do something before the meeting,” Jaq said, tossing the tissues aside. Lana stood by his side, raising an eyebrow and studying the former smuggler’s face.

“What are you going to do?”

“I need to make a transmission, to everyone. Everywhere. The galaxy. I need Theron to see this. I need him to know that… I need him. I need him to come home to me. I still love him. I can’t stop loving him. It’s stupid, I know. But…” Jaq trailed off, clearing his throat yet again.

“I’ll help you,” Lana said firmly.

“You what?”

“I will help you compose it. You’ll need to address his betrayal publicly anyway. Hit two birds with one stone. Satiate the Alliance leadership, and you can also reach out to Theron, if he is willing,” Lana said. “I’ll get the holorecorder.” Lana slipped out of Jaq’s room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Jaq murmured, staring up at the ceiling. The nausea in his stomach turned hollow as his resolve hardened. “I’m going to bring you home. I promise.”


End file.
